My legs smell like pizza
Mixologist Wanted ***MUST HAVE MOLESTY MUSTACHE
Part-time position available for mixologist (fancy word for bartender/beer whore). Possible lead to a full-time position if you play your cards right (that’s sexual).
-8th grade education
-Molesty mustache (you must look like you could get 3-5 years in prison)
-Be able to make high-end cocktails as follows:
Old Fashioned Man-Childtini: 3 parts scotch, splash of root beer, sprinkle in some Skittles for garnish.
The Lifeguard: Freshly squeezed seawater, a beach bucket full of Kettle One vodka, sand on the rim.
Pikachu: Mix boiling sake with Sapporo into a toilet bowl and scoop contents into a martini glass, serve with an eggroll stirring stick.
Huggable Roy Rogers: Coke (soda or drugs), grenadine, cherry juice, GHB. Shake and serve in a cowboy hat.
Location: 1524 Basement St.
Kidnapped City, CA 90011
SERIOUS INQUIRES ONLY!!!!